8 Lessons I learned at Rock Bottom That Helped Me Climb Back Up

photo by Nina Elliott on Unsplash

After taking care of my brother as he wasted away and died from AIDs, the end of my 18-year marriage to my high school sweetheart in an ugly parting that made Divorce Court look civil, and years of wrong turns, things not working out, and being flat-out disappointed with life, I tried to end my life in June of 2007, by swallowing handful after handful of pills. Because I was found too late for my stomach to be pumped, the pills went all the way through my body wreaking destruction.

While I did survive (obviously), I woke up after a week in a coma with an acquired brain injury to a very different world. Initially, I was seriously mentally impaired. Right after the attempt, just living an ordinary life, doing the things people normally do every day without a second thought: emptying the dishwasher, making a meal, having a phone conversation, paying the bills, using the computer, were frustratingly difficult challenges.

Putting thoughts into words was a painstakingly slow process that required intentional mental effort. When I did talk, it sounded like my mouth was wired shut and crammed full of marbles. Besides barely being able to speak, I couldn’t coordinate the acts of breathing and swallowing anymore. My hands shook constantly and had no fine motor control, and I couldn’t retrieve words, remember the date, my…